| i can see throuugh you |
[02 Apr 2006|03:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
i dont really know where to start...i should probably start out with the standard "wow i never update this thing anymore".
i had my spring break last week. i went down to chincateague island with a bunch of friends and that was awesome. i had so much fun. definately good times with good people :-) then reality check of back to school and work and everything else. its not that coming back to that stuff is the depessing part. i mean it sucks that getting fucked up everyday and not having anything to worry about anything had to end. but i know i couldnt live my life like that forever anyway. so anyway now im back at school trying to just finish this semester without fucking up too bad while trying to work like 20-25 hours a week and trying to still enjoy "my college experience".
but thats not really the point of this entry. i dont really know how to explain what i need to say.
sometimes there are moments when you just can't talk to anyone about things because of situations and because you need to realize things on your own. and i think i finally taught myself a lesson in life. a very important one i thought i already learned to a point. but i think i really understand and maybe am finally okay with it. theres just nothing you can do change things. and like you can argue and fight and bullshit around but its whats inside that fucking counts. i mean what the fuck does arguing about shit get you. no where. and its like even you know you are right and no one cares what does that even mean. i think maybe it stems back to the fact that you need to be happy with yourself. and i think that is one of the most important things in life. fuck the point is to just move away from those situations and get on and just get on with life. life is constantly changing and i guess i am content with that. i mean it doesnt always mean its awesome but you haveto learn.
there will always be things you miss. and missing things is okay. its natural to wonder. its natural to have fears and insecurities. i guess to be honest i dont really know where im going with this and im not really in an upset mood. more of a content with discontent feeling if that makes any sense.
and for future reference...trust is a valuable thing and honestly one of the most importnat things in life. and everyone has their secrets and everyone has their feelings that no one else can see. and its not like you can't judge who you can and can't trust pretty well. life is funny like that. and i guess i can't really explain that any better and you just have to know what i mean. alright have a nice day everyone. its a beautiful day and i hope everyone is enjoying themselves and doing everything that they want to do and not holding back on themselves. much love to all. take it easy everyone.
|
|
| tattoo and randomrambling :-x hahahha |
[22 Feb 2006|01:21am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
contemplative |
] |
sooo um if you didnt hear which there is a good chance you didnt i got a tattooo like a month and ½ ago or so :-)
its an Om( or Aum) if you didn't know that. it has alot of significance to me.
There are a few main points. the Om is basicly the main symbol of Hinduism.
it also is meant to be the primordial sound or the "first breathe of creation". most relgions believe that creation began with a sound. "In the beginning was the word..." and whatnot. For Hindus and Buddhists, the Om is that "vibration that ensures existance".
the Om symbol also is a sacred symbol representing Brahman, the Absolute. it represents the omnipotent, omnipresent and source of all manifesting existence. Brahman is infinite so therefore it is incomprehensible so a symbol (the Om) is necessary to help us realize the unknowable. the Om represents both the unmanifest and manifest aspects of God.
The Aum is the ultimate mantra or religious symbol. In essence, sound, and form, the Aum symbolizes the ultimate reality and the entire universe.
The A stands for Creations
The U stands for Preservation
The M stands for Destruction
This is also representative of the Trinity of Gods in the Hindu beliefs (Brahma, Vishnu, and Shiva)
The 3 portions of the Aum relate to the states of waking, dream, and deep sleep.
The 3 letters also indicates the three planes of existence, (heaven, earth, and the netherworld)
(notice alot to do with the aspect of the trinity)
also all the words produced by the human voal organ be be represented by Aum. A is produced by the throat, U and M by the lips
and it signifies the sound of the Sun and Light.
and in most lamence terms i can think of... you know when people meditate and they go "ommmm" this is the symbol for that. haha. because it is the most perfect sound.
For me it signifies even more than all that but a change in my life and a finding of my own personal soul. life is too short to waste time worrying. (and i know what you're all thinking. 'oh shit daves about to start rambling about life again. is he high?' wellll not this time sooo there"
when things get you down dont let it ruin your life. learn from it. thats what life is. its all about learning and its all about growing and making the most out of every god damn situation you engage in
and if you want to live your life differently than someone else that is great. just live your life for yourself because you will never please everybody.
granted everyone needs to learn to help each other and help everyone grow but its okay to be selfish sometimes because its your life and everyone deserves the best for themselves. dont let people tread on you but learn from your mistakes and figure out the best way to interact with other people and figure out what you enjoy and what love is to you.
every single person has a different view of love. think about it. life is crazy and its depressing sometimes and amazing sometimes and boring and painful but THATS LIFE and in every situation you need to realize that life is crazy and that the best possible thing you can do in any situation is live in the present and make the most out of where you are right now while "preparing for the mountains you have yet to climb" - 3½ floppy lyric right there. hahaha.
thats what this tattoo really means to me in the here and now. and granted this doesnt help all the time and there are moments in life when even realizing the sole fact that life is hectic and there is no perfection when it comes to life. everyone has probelms. whether its work or school or acne or parents and friends. or all of those at once there still is a starving kid in africa who would give their fucking testicles to be your shoes. theres a blind man who would give anything just to see for one day. a homeless man who would be so greatful to live in your shoes for even an hour. take life for what it is. its a beautiful thing and its a wonderful thing just the fact that your alive that you have lived this long that you exist at all. the probabilities are rediculous. holy shit i want to get into fuckin like chaos theory right now but its late and im probably just gonna go to bed soon so i will put that on a speerate post probably tomororw.
and im not any better but the fucking absurdities of this whole fucking emobullshit life sucks and then you die is pulling everyone into a state that isnt helping society that isnt helping people happy. to be happy is to be free of problems in the mind. since thats never going to happen its to figure out the best way to fix them and enjoy life while doing so instead of just moping. and yeah im a hypocrit but im getting better and well thats what my tattoo really symbolizes to me.
goodnight everyone. i hope this at least made one person think :-)
|
|
|
[31 Jan 2006|05:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
im tired as shit.
i hate this semester already and ive only had two days of it. summer couldn't come too soon i dont think. basicly im probably not gonna be going out much except weekends a little bit. so if anyone wants to visit me at school or at work feel free. i knew this was going to happen and it makes my break more meaningful i guess that all good things come to an end and things cant be awesome and me not have all this shit to do forever. and it was nice to have that time and im grateful for it but i just wish everything didnt haveto crash down on me now and everything be hard as shit. its always like this. things are good for a while and then i get in these slumps where im just not in a good mood where i start to either criticize myself or just do whatever and just like dont feel like going out.. i dont know i cant explain it so fuck it. and i just hope it doesnt last the whole semester...:-\
yeaaahh.
|
|
|
[09 Jan 2006|11:33am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 grateful |
] |
i just dont even know. this week has been one of the best weeks of my entire life. yet easily the hardest at the same time. i am more than greatful for this week and i honestly think i will remember this week for the rest of my life. well hopefully :-x im not gonna get into exactly what made it awesome and what made it horrible. the people im extra close to will already know both.
i have made memories that i will never forget with people that i consider to be the bestest of my friends.
but once again things are never perfect and even when u think they are theres always going to be that one tragic flaw. that one thing thing that is dragging you down. and im learning to get around it.
i mean its like those things that you know are gonna happen but after talking to someone enough and thinking about it enough u kind of convince yourself otherwise but its really bullshit and in the end u get what you thought was gonna happen from the begining. im not saying its a bad thing. its a fact of life.
and also ive been working out and shit so soon i will be in shape, and im eating alot more healthy than i was. so i figure by summer ill be mad in shape and ripped and shit hahahaha picture me ripped? hahahhaha anyway its coming. im motivated. so that is really awesome :-)
alright no one knows what im talking about probably and i guess im just rambling but i just never update this anymore and when i do i feel its necesary to give slight hints of my life and what is going on but not be too specific because well that only gets people and by people i mean me in trouble. well i love everyone. <3
|
|
|
[31 Dec 2005|11:19am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
well this morning was one of the saddest mornings of my life i think so far. my childhood dog max was put to sleep. and yeah anyone can realize that its sad but ive had that dog since i was in 2nd grade. i was like 7 years old. that dog and i have been together for like 12 years. and to be honest its the biggest loss ive ever suffered. and maybe that is wierd but i mean even when my grandparents died. it was sad. and i was upset but not this upset. i didnt live with my grandparents. i didnt grow up with them, play with them, take them on walks and have nearly as many memories as i do max. he just steadily got so sick he couldnt even do antyhing anymore. and he was always so lively.
ive never been in that situation before having to watch an animal or anything for that matter die in my arms. and it was peaceful and he is not in pain anymore. i just kept stroking his ears and head until he just faded out from the needle. and i just never wanted this moment to come. i mean i still remember picking him outin the pound and arguing with my sister about what to name him. and the neighborhood kids who i was friends with came over and he was so wild and lively it was rediculous.
its just sad. i remember being upset and i could just pet max and talk to him. i mean hes one of the things in life that has always been there for me.
i mean your pet is one thing that has always been there for you. through every girlfriend. every bad experience. every lonely night and early morning. he was always there. he didnt care about any of that but he was there u know. and i think the fact that i love animals isnt helping too much, snoop dog just came on shuffle. that is kind of ironic.
alright i guess im done...rip max :-\ ill miss you.
|
|
| i never post anymore |
[30 Dec 2005|03:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 confused |
] |
god damn i am so fucking confused.
but besides that
yesterday was awesome. today is turning into a good day as well. winter break = much better than expected. i also realized that theres never really a time when nothing at all is wrong u know. theres always something. so im learning to just go with it and make the best of whatever comes at me. i think thats mad importnat to do and im really learning myself a good lesson. so im happy about that
new years? what is going on.
|
|
|
[07 Dec 2005|01:11am] |
does anyone else ever get that feeling where u know you should sleep and you want to go to sleep but you just cant. where you just cant stop thinking long enough to even fall asleep...
i think that is one of the worst feelings. bleh. im going out for a cigarette. maybe that will calm my brain?
|
|
|
[02 Dec 2005|01:57am] |
|
i dont even know what to say. tonight was...meh
|
|
|
[29 Nov 2005|11:06pm] |
fuckkk everything. nothing ever actually works out. and thats the end of that...whatever.
It's enough to make me cry
That don't seem like it will make it feel better
|
|
| new layerouter |
[29 Nov 2005|06:57pm] |
|
new layout. check it out? and tellll me what u think maybe. its pretty different.
|
|
|
[29 Nov 2005|01:14pm] |
|
hmmm....where to start. well
first off i got a red light ticket which is gay cuz its 75 dollars. beat. i was thinking about going to court but it sounds like a waste of time i dont know. i was following someone so i think i might be able to at least get a reduced fine but i dont know if its really worth it to go thru all the trouble. i duno. beat.
i also dont have a cell phone right now cuz it got put in the washing machine and got fucked up. i should be getting a new one like tonight maybe? but if uve called me and i didnt answer in the past few days that is why. nottt cuz i dont like you. dont worry. also beat thought 50 bucks i think.
annd. well i got my hair cut off. its prettty short now. so yeah haha. ill post a picture later orr something.
um i also registered for my next semester classes. im taking pysch 200 (developmental psychology), pysch 210 (the psychology of learning), psych 331 (experimental psychology: design and analysis), bio 100, and possibly socy 101 if i dont drop it. and that is 17 credits and if i drop the sociology class then im taking 14 still so yeah.
beside that things have been up and down as usual. thanksgiving break was alright and now im back at school so thats about it for that.
im trying to just stay afloat basicly the next two weeks of school and get this semester over with without fucking up too much.
i think that im going to start devoted some time of my day to like just go sit somewhere and not think about anything because im pretty damn sure i think way too much and i cant imagine that well..that its healthy haha. so yeah. christmas is coming. so thats kinda coool. but im gonna be at my house and my mom is going to bitch if im lazy and dont have a job so that kinda sucks. i guess i should be getting a job anyway. but yeah.
 sunset from cloud hill a little while back.
the end,
|
|
|
[11 Nov 2005|08:45am] |
|
/sometimes i just really wish i could really explain myself to just someone...
|
|
|
[09 Nov 2005|02:55pm] |
 oh weren't those just the good old days...... |
|
| indigo |
[07 Nov 2005|01:33am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
thoughtful |
] |
so yeah. ive been thinking so much recently. about many different things as usual i guess. and i mean usually i guess i only write in this thing when ive been thinking alot, something fucked up happens, or maybe about something cool. but usually the first of the two.
now i guess there could be alot to write about like how i gauged my other ear and how it got infected too. but i htink im just gonna stick it out and hope it goes away instead of taking it out.
or how i really need to decide a major. i only have 2 more weeks before i have to decide. yeah i can always change it but it would be fucking stupid to change it and waste this next semester taking classes i dont need in return wasting my time and money. plus if i dont decide now when will i? ive had 19 years and i have who knows how many more. everyone else seems so sure. yeah they may change their mind but at least they semi- know. they have ideas. or their younger and whatever who cares they have time. but i know so many people younger who all know what they want to do and where they want to go and how to get what they want in their life you know. i came to umbc. why? i mean i guess why not. its a good school. its close. i had a girlfriend here. i had a band here. i had a life here. i didnt want to start a new one. but now here i am in a different place. still not knowing what i want to do. i duno.
or i could write about how i keep getting tripped up trying to get into other peoples brains. when you know someone long enough. i dont think its that hard to read their thoughts. you can cut right through the skin break open their skull and get into what they thought was secure. and try to understand the things they do. what makes them do it. what they think when they look a certain way.
and i mean life isn't bad. but its not all good. and like it sucks to think about life sometimes. but it also is relieving. because well its funny. everyone has the same thoughts. we're all humans. anyone with the simple inteligence to wonder thinks about life. the other day we just bust into a conversations about life and what we know and what the truth about life is. i mean its depressing. thats for sure. but to know that other people know what you know is well yeah relieving.
but the truth is that things do happen for a reason...
and i haveto believe that. not because i belive in god. not because i believe in much at all actually. and im not saying that everything is even planned out but take everything for what its worth. bad or good. sad or happy. fucked up or stupid. it's gonna change your life. somehow every little thing that happens changes your life.
everything little thing that has happened has shaped your life. so other people live their lives and you live yours semi changing relationships. changing who is close to you and who you talk to. but how often do you have someone. or soemthing that is so constant that it doesnt change. that you have them for you and they arent leaving. they arent going to have bias. i mean basicly never. maybe your family. the person you end up marrying. which what ½ of marriages fail. maybe not that much but probably close to that. and then what your children? i mean maybe thats what makes family special. maybe thats what makes that significant other who you do decide is the one for the rest of your life is importnat. thats when you know you could conceptual marry someone and be conent.
to not feel alone
what are we really doing here? i mean what real purpose do we have? well first realize what we do...
1. we waste time trying to make our life meaningful
2. we get jobs so we can make money to get by and buy things that will help us forget about the fact that we are just going to die. but why else do we get jobs? well consider this. it is your life. it is you. you are what you do. your job is basicly your identity on this earth to many many people whom you meet.
and probably most importantly..
3. we form relationships with people. ever changing for better or for worse so we dont feel so fucking alone here. so we don't fucking constantly realize that everyone has their own lives and most people here are damn selfish. myself considerably included.
but basicly...it is inevitable that things will suck sometimes. things will also be good other times. and i guess the point of life is to just learn how to deal and get through the bad times and carry through and know how to get the best out of the good times. and then there's always those indifferent times that well somehow are worse than the bad. it's like your trapped in that state. frustration.
and its not like i really know. these are my thoughts. these are my opinions but one mind is so powerful. just think about how powerful your mind is. i dont even mean in the supernatural sense but just by the fact that if you belive something...it is true to you. it may not be to other people. but if you truely honestly believe something then it is as real as anything else. why wouldnt it be? if you belive the wall is white and that that kid who sits 3 seats over from you in physics class smells like a goddamn rotten piece of trash..then who can tell you that you're beliefs on anything else are false. and im not saying that it might not be wrong. but to THAT PERSON it is real and true.
and i know i do it and i know other people hold to their stubborn ass ideas that may be wrong but may be right and thats the point. the point is that if you dont believe something to be true even after fucking seeing it. even seeing the god damn truth played out for you. showed. proven. put in your face. some people still wont believe it. that is proof of the power that one mind has...on that individual person at least. and maybe they have their reasons for not beliveing it but if deep down thats they way they think. then it is not true to them.
but one person can also use their mind for so much more. they can use it to convince other people of their possibly bogus ideas. which also brings about the sick fact that people can be sick ass fucks. one person. one god damn person could easily fuck with mad peoples lives. and like i feel like we are lucky. i mean yeah there are fucked up people out there who can kill someone and live with it. or commit other horrible crimes that should not happen. but not that many insane serial killers.
i mean religion was created to stop that. the minute someone steps out of their little shell and realizes life is pointless. its like if they are borderline or have like an anti-social personality disorder...what is stopping them from just killing people and fucking up peoples lives just because there is no real reason not to if they dont belive in anything and dont care for life. dont have respect.
and thats why RESPECT should be taught as a way to protect us from feeling alone here and from feeling as if we haveto rely on religon to like control us into not doing something. if people just respected each other this stupid bullshit wouldnt happen. but no one respects everyone
i would find it very surprizing to find even one person on this earth who doesnt have dirty secrets that they keep hidden. or someone who truely respects everyone and the earth itself for that matter. i mean maybe some fucking hiiigh as shit hippie. maybe that freakin hippie knows. oh life...
i doubt anyone is still reading.
but i mean sometimes. its just wierd to imagine what your life looks like. and sometimes its wierd to imagine what other peoples lives look like to other people and how relationships form. like the things you think about when you are alone. the things that you do when no ones looking. the things that like when you try to get away and are with a group but are but something happens. the thoughts u have when someone says something mean and it hurts your feelings but you dont say anything. you wouldnt say anything cuz its stupid. but it likes sitll hurts your feelings? and you are like sititng htere thinking about it
obsessing over it...
while with the same people. and its like not mad. but lik eyour thinking about it and they dont even know. its like they have no clue. but then its like wow maybe other people feel this same way. sometimes what if i say something i dont mean to be like mean but someone selfconcious i guess like me or maybe not so but takes it to the heart and is sad inside but doesnt say anything about it and i just keep on going never knowing. never fucking knowing
or i mean theres so much more that is almost unwritable. i mean its just facts of life.
i just feel as if i could live as someone else for one day...i would know
i feel like i would know almost everything. i would be able to like comprehend so much of my thoughts and its like ill never get to do that. ill never get inside someones brain and truely be someone else even if just for a few minutes.
...it would just be nice to get away from my life for like as little or long as possible.. just to know. just to see. try it out and truely know how different it is to be somone else. how differnet it is to feel someone elses feelings. and i mean really feel them. not just feel fucking sorry for someone cuz you know what its like. to really fucking feel their feelings and just know...
i mean one person may come out of a situation thinking it was awesome and another thinking it wasn't
one person may come out feeling nostalgic because a time ended and the other just glad it happened.
and it is inevitable that people will come out of situations feeling different ways becuase we are all different. everyone single person has a very individual personality.
life is just so tricky. and in the end it really doesnt matter cuz no one will ever know. we will die and either go to heaven and not know it. reincarnate and not remember. or just plain rot in the ground and wait for the universe to eventually stop expanding and descend in on itself and when the universe doesnt exsist...well no matter where we go. neither will we. and that wont really matter cuz we wont exist to even care...and thats where the true problem of human despair comes from...
we put too much pressure on the mere concept that life is supposed to mean something more than just that we are here for a few years to have fun and that there is more than just this out there. so i guess its not exactly easy to do and im still working on it. but just realize that feeling something bad or good is better than feeling nothing at all. and maybe thats why people dont like feeling indifferent. its about the closest we can get to not existing because no one can truely conceptualize nothing or an infinity.
nothing doesnt exist in the conceptual aspect of our brain to understand what it would mean to not be anything for the universe to not be here. and obviously this is just a what if. but if the universe does implode on itself what else is there? just a repeat. a complete nothingness. and we may never know...just one more sad fact of life. that keeps us existing and staying away from feeling nothing for a little longer.
in conclusion...
it is probably best that we do not know the answers and if we ever did it would probably cause some sort of horrid disaster and mass disorder because people are stupid and well as i stated people will only believe what they want to even if we knew the truth and there is direct proof. we as a human race are a curious people and will always want to know but it would change so much if we ever did...life would change so drastically that we probably would not live in any way close to the way we live now...
if i were to die tomorrow...it would change the world. if you were to die tomorrow...it would change the world. and who knows how exponentially? NO ONE. there is not way to truely be psychic and know. maybe if i didnt i would have a kid who would have a kid who has a kid who invents something. or who kils someone else. u never know. good or bad. you never know. you'll never know. i'll never know.
take it easy everyone...
dave.
|
|
| so yeah that sucks |
[02 Nov 2005|08:41am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 pissed off |
] |
fuck
so yeah i gauged one of my ears back to 0 the other day with this cool silicone plug and yeah it was hurting pretty bad. like it still was hurting really bad so this morning i tugged on it a little and a shiiiiiiiiiiiitload of white gross ass puss mixed with blood starting coming out. it was sick. so my ear right now is just like all bloody and the hole looks fucking discusting and i just spent 30 dollars on plugs soo yeah im kinda pissed.
i dont know what to do though...i guess wait and then gauge slower next time?
fuuuccking damnit. my ear hurts like a bitch. alright i have class. this sucks though.
|
|
|
[17 Oct 2005|01:55am] |
|
.i'm still losing sleep
|
|
| read if you feel like being confused... |
[08 Oct 2005|10:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
contemplative |
] |
i keep thinking alot. maybe too much. i hate thinking too much. but i do. meh. i think about so much stuff. and like its pointless i guess. i dont usually come to conclusions. and i mean its not like im really sad. i guess i just dont know. i mean i just...i guess its times like this good music just carries you.
my whole life confuses me. but i mean thats been true for a while. its only recently that i let other peoples lives confuse me. like ive let other peoples effect on me confuse me...but never just sat there and put myself in someone's elses shoes. put myself in each individual person i meet or see and be them. just for a minute. imagine the way that they think. imagine what goes through their brain when they look at me. when we connect. what someone else sees when they look at you. do other people think...scratch that. possibly obsess over it? like not in a conceited way or a like fake way where i am like changing myself. but just straight wondering what goes through their mind. what thoughts cross their brains when they look at you. i duno maybe i just confused everyone and if i did you dont haveto continue reading...or probably have already stopped by now.
like that connection. you know though...when you look at someone and you stare at them. well not necesarily stare at them but you look into their eyes and they yours. and you have that connection. a thought runs through my brain. and them vise versa. but imagine being on the other side of that...knowing what someone else knows. think about everything you know. if someone only just knew everything one other person knew. i mean it would be so overwelming. every experience. everything. i cant even comprehend it. i think so much about what it would mean to even be able to. realize. how many people are on this earth. how many people are within a mile square radius of you. Just in Baltimore there are over 651 thousand people. In maryland...there is almost 5.3 million people. The united states is around 296 million people....the world...almost 6 and ½ billion people. keep in mind that that is only people that are currently living. everyone of those people has their own thoughts opinions. everyone of them is using their brain right now. as i write this. they are thinking about something. each person awake is conciously using their brain to think about things differnet things. doing differnet things.
pick one person and imagine their life. imagine being in their shoes. what it would be like to be them. then not only what it would like to be them. but to know their secrets. to know everything about them. everyone's holds things to themselves that no one knows. those things you do when no ones looking. maybe sing maybe talk to yourself. something else? i dont even know except for my own. but i mean what would it be like to grow up somewhere else.
ive been alot of places with this and you know what no one probably knows what im talking about. but im gonna keep writing cuz i guess i dont know what im talking about and i just maybe think it helps. but like someone you are very close to. its like...imagine what it would be like to know really what they think about you.
i guess i gotta go but
...to be continued? nooot that anyone really cares i guess.
|
|
|
[26 Sep 2005|12:44am] |
so basicly. i think being stressed out or just this past week made me break out real bad and it looks real bad and i look even grooosssseer than before. it is not verrrry cool. not at all. im sorry for everyone who has to be seen with me.
i have made a visual representation of my epidemic. haha the end...
|
|
|
[22 Sep 2005|05:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 indescribable |
] |
...so i've come to alot of conclusions recently, but with each and every conclusions it just seems to just create more confusions in situations at a seemingly exponential rate. so basicly im just tired of everything. i guess i am just tired. maybe ill just sleep more. i don't know. i can't really explain much nor shoulld i. i think no matter what i say im stuck in a situation that isnt benefitial to anyway i react and things will still be..well...displeasing. everyone has their own thoughts on each individual situation and express different thoughts to each invidual person they talk to. i need some sort of like...factor in my life that isnt changing. i need some stability. just somewhere and i think i'll be alright. i just am gonna take a lot of time to myself i think. i dont really know what else i can say.
...
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=91.6){kind=small}
goblinpunk's journal
